Tuesday, December 21, 2010

the seven words you can't say on television

So this post is about nursing.  It's so unbelievable I had to share because I'm still in shock.  If you don't want to read it, please avert your eyes and web browse elsewhere.


Today I was at work and to make a long story short my patient was on a continuous dialysis machine that mandates that the nurse with that patient only has one patient.  The machine is finicky, difficult and takes anywhere from 15 minutes to 3 hours to setup.  My machine was going down (ie. starting to clot off) today and I got everything ready so I could attach the patient to a new one if it stopped working.  long long long long long story but the blood I needed took forever.  When we finally got everything into the room and the machine was all ready to go (hours later), I moved it about a foot and a half and this is what I saw.
This is anything but normal.   We called the help line, turned it off multiple times and unplugged it at least three or four times.  No help.  No change.  we were screwed.

At this time a sailor would seem like a virgin compared to what was coming out of my mouth.  We were going to have to take down the entire machine and start over again.  Meanwhile my patient had been off the machine for something like 5 hours.  nobueno.

So what did I do?


I hit it.  With my fist.  Hard.


and i hit it again.  and again.  and again.  and again.  and screamed at it the entire time.


and then I kicked it.

and one more time just for good measure.

all the while the fellow was watching me, laughing.  Hopefully it made his day, because it certainly didn't make mine.

then the screen was looking slightly different so I turned it off.  Turned it back on.  and guess what?!?!



it worked.

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